So this is it… 2016 is gone. Sho, what a year! I am not going to talk about all the sh*t that happened in the world because we all know exactly what happened and I really don’t want to turn this into a negative post. (It starts with a T and ends with a P?)
In my personal life a lot of things happened, some good and some bad, but from all of them the top 3 are:
1. I started my photography business full time. (Special thanks to Bradyn for giving me an extra push!)
2. I visited my family in Portugal for 3 weeks. (Special thanks to mana & mama)
3. I found ‘who I am’ again. (So maaaannnyyy special thanks in this one but I think the biggest one goes again to my sister and mom, that without even knowing pushed me back to the surface!)***
I also started properly working out this year since I left Portugal, (What I mean is, I started working out on a regular basis) and it was the worst thing I could have done. Wait! Hear me out before you start shipping in…
I started working out because I wanted to love myself again. It was all about my physic. The way I look at me, the way I thought people looked at me, everything… I thought everything was towards my body and not the ‘the inside’. And that is so wrong! That’s how I lost myself! I started becoming OBSSECED with my body. Everything I ate was like a punishment for me, the stress I made my body go through was terrible! The jealousy towards my best friends bodies, etc! The only good thing about it was that I was training with friends and I really enjoyed that hour at the gym but the only reason why I was training was because I needed to get skinny so people would like me.
It was only when I went to Portugal and was around my family that I realized: Who am I? And I asked myself a simple question:
Do you like your friends because they skinny and fit? NO! So why would they feel that way towards you?
And then, everything changed… I decided to stop training until I had the right intentions in my head (3 months) and I started not worrying about the food (obviously not eating junk food every day!) and started enjoying my day to day without spending 24h thinking about my body. And you know what? I lost 5kg and found myself again. Not through the weight loss but through relaxing.
Now that I know that I know my people love me for who I am and not for how I look like I finally can say things to myself like: I want to start training to be healthier and stronger. I also obviously want to be skinnier, but that’ not my life number one rule! My number one rule is to be happy and love myself no matter what!
PS: I think I need to keep telling this until I do a proper English course but I am Portuguese, so excuse the grammar!